Freedom is realizing the door to love is always open
Watching a family of birds in a tree he would say that as the mother bird feeds the baby birds, who fly away leaving their parents behind, we can learn detachment from the birds. - Ram Dass [Be Love Now]
The above quote reminded me of a time when I described a similar concept to my nieces back in Michigan. I was born and raised in the “Great Lake State,” but shortly after graduating college I left home and moved to California.
We were talking on the phone and they were in the middle of asking me when I was going to move back home. I told them I missed them but I was home even though I wasn’t immediately in their presence. I described the way baby birds grow up and leave the nest. I told them I hadn’t left home, instead I expanded upon it.
It was a beautiful moment and in truth I can’t say who the reframe helped more, my kid nieces or myself. At times I’ve felt guilt from moving away but like I said I didn’t leave home I expanded it. The hardest part about living 2500 miles away from them is not being present while the kids are young, and my family ages.
But even at that, I’ve been learning the true rewards are found within - healing, life, love, energy, it all flows out from within. Love is shared and received from anywhere. My love doesn’t end because I’m not in eye-view. In the past thats where I got stuck. The guilt kept me plastered in the physical. I felt like my love wasn’t as real or as qualitative for some reason because I wasn’t with my family in-person.
But this isn’t the case. We are each on an individual journey - living out a unique expression of a unified source. I believe the role of “others,” (family, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss, strangers) are more-so to be mirrors for us to see the deeper parts of ourselves, acting as guideposts along our path to self-realization. Most of us, including myself, become attached to people and things in our lives and it clouds the mirror with ego. But, true love is found in letting go. Each of us is a mirror for one another. The deeper we dig into ourselves the more we are able to see this truth. It’s easy to blame other people for the way we feel but it’s ultimately on us to change how we're experiencing the “now.”
I’m realizing the deepest-level joys come from being thoughtful and doing nice things for others.
And doing nice things and loving on others can be as simple as showering them in love during our Mediations throughout the day. I believe we can love from anywhere - but it starts from radically loving ourselves. Then as a result it begins to overflow into our relationships and daily activities.
With all that said, I’m really looking forward to dancing with my nieces and wrestling with my nephew when I fly home at the end of the month. Love is love and I'm excited to share it with them.